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Josh Billings Quotes
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist -- it reduces him to his fighting weight. Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take. Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so. As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs. Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to. Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design. I don't care how much a person talks, if they only say it in a few words. If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles. Safe on her own nose all the time. It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined. Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first. Some folks are wise and some otherwise. Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout. The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it. There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But
when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. |
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